101 Ways to Annoy Your Co-workers
Many of us are stuck in a cube for most of the day. Why not have some fun with your co-workers. They annoy you day in and day out. Here are 101 ways for you to slowly drive them crazy.
- Leave a stack of old applications and a note saying, “Install these”
- Staple your reports in the wrong corner
- Put tape over the mouse optics
- Unplug a co-worker’s monitor
- Talk to sick employees while wearing a dust mask
- Turn your earphones up all the way
- Burn popcorn in the microwave
- “Forget” to put your tuna sandwich in the fridge
- Turn up the beep volume of the copier
- Empty the paper out of the main printer/copier
- Empty the ink or toner out of the main printer/copier
- Practice beat boxing
- Sing show tunes
- Hang up the phone before they say, “good bye”
- Slurp hot coffee during meetings
- Walk around the office barefooted
- Empty out a co-workers office on a Friday afternoon
- Misplace peoples pens
- Insert a 3.5″ disk before they turn on their computer
- Glue their mouse to the desk
- Leave an open can of tuna in their desk
- Make a screenshot of their desktop and use it as their screensaver
- Turn up the contrast on their monitor
- Talk in a funny accent
- Use goofy event sounds for your programs
- Chant, “Yeay, I got mail!!” every time you get a new email
- Print out a phony pink slip and leave It in their mailbox
- Send flowers from one co-worker to another
- Start your car remotely when someone walk by it
- Insist on people to have a great morning
- Leave hole punches all over
- Leave your lunch garbage in other people’s cans
- After each sip give a refreshing, “Ahhh”
- Put salt on someone’s mouse pad
- Set a password on someone’s screensaver
- Carry on a conversation with someone two cubes down
- Smirk when a co-worker walks by
- Eat half of someone’s lunch
- Swap co-worker’s chairs
- Fake stomach flu during a meeting and need to abruptly leave three or four times
- Stare deeply into your co-workers eyes when they talk to you
- Take all the ice out of the community freezer
- Listen to comedy tracks and laugh hysterically
- Hit all the floor buttons when you leave the elevator
- Make hissing sounds into the phone and insist you have a bad connection
- Flip the left and right mouse button defaults
- Take out the ball in the mouse
- Eat sunflower seeds
- Tell a long story without a point
- Tell a co-worker you liked their hair better last week
- Anonymously send flowers to a random co-worker
- Bring Cheetos for food days
- Drag your feet when you walk down the halls
- Exclaim your co-worker didn’t wash his hands when leaving the restroom
- Eat stinky foods when you have lunch at your desk
- Practice drumming on your desk
- Use too many paper clips
- Fill out your time sheets incorrectly
- Set your mobile phone to an obnoxious ring tone
- Forward chain letters and other spam to co-workers
- Express your political views at length
- Whisper loudly
- Come to work sick
- Drink the last cup of coffee without making a new pot
- Answer your mobile during meetings
- Stand over someone while they are on the phone
- Sneak up behind someone
- Mess with the thermostat
- Give everyone a pistol wink when they walk by
- Gradually turn down the volume on someone’s phone
- Leave unusual print outs on the printer
- Throw out other people’s prints
- Juggle office supplies
- Write all your memos on bright colored paper
- Be overly nice to people
- Hide whiteboard erasers
- Chew gum while talking on the phone
- Regularly update everyone on the current weather
- Read your emails aloud
- Leave the fridge open
- Shake up cans of pop in the fridge
- Leave fingerprints on the copier glass
- Whistle all day long
- Wear too much cologne/perfume
- Type loudly
- Wear bright colored clothes
- Give everyone a nickname from a TV show
- Do the sneaky walk around the office
- Peer over the cube and wait for a co-worker to look up and notice
- Use the intercom and page yourself
- Swap the regular and decaf coffee
- Hide the sugar and creamer
- Type emails in uppercase and excessive punctuation
- Refer to your garbage can as your in-box
- Stick pencils to the ceiling in other people’s offices
- Throw a bouncy ball in your office
- Tell the same story over and over
- Imitate regular sounds like a disc drive opening, door slamming or a mouse click
- Talk to your monitor as if it was a person
- Schedule meetings at 4:00pm
- Talk loudly with your earphones on when someone comes to talk to you
DISCLAIMER: Use these annoyances at your own risk. I take no responsibility for whatever happens to you, your cube, your car or anything else.
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Hrm. Is it bad that I’m regularly guilty of numbers 3, 6, 13, 16, 20, 22, 36, 39, 74, 75, 85 and 99?
number 22 doesn’t work… the second they move the mouse your work woudl be of no use.
Not if you change the settings, you can make it to where you have to exit out of your screensaver
Great List! I too am guilty of many of these… woops!
If anyone has any other ideas for how to annoy your co-workers you can add them here:
http://www.listafterlist.com/tabid/57/listid/6822/Jobs++Careers/Over+100+Ways+to+Annoy+Your+CoWorkers.aspx
Jason, if you are interested in doing any cross-promotional work (we are already pointing your blog which will hopefull help drive even more traffic) let me know!
Tell them you made a post about them on http://chainofthoughts.com without telling them where, it will drive them mad looking all over for it, and waste a major portion of their day.
Yes! While I’m 88ing I’ll 67 your ass, 50 and 4 you, and then 37 when it’s all over.
Hilarious… I loved it.
This list HAS to be wrong. I do at least half this stuff every week and I am not annoying.
Another one I love is to stick a bit of blue tack or tape over the microphone on someones phone so when they answer it they can hear the person calling but the other person can’t hear them
Here’s one: Crunch on ice or eat carrot sticks.
Here’s another one: Tap your fingers on the desk while you’re thinking…especially if you have long finger nails!
#102 - pee in the coffee machine.
That was hilarious!!
#103 - take a crap in your boss’s file drawer.
#104 - take big sniffs & hawk up loogies during a meeting
LOL! This is great! Muwahahahaha! The only thing missing is a certain item from ThinkGeek: http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/8c52/?cpg=wnrdf
Guilty on all counts….and loving it!!!
Tape the button down on the phone so when they answer it it keeps ringing.
Shit, I will be fired!!!
I work at home these days, but these tips always make me think a week back in a mind numbing office could be alright.
101 ways to get fired anyone ?
#101a - Schedule meetings at 4:00am
My favorite one was not listed, so here it is… switch the letters around on thier keyboard. Also for number 22 you could also make the screenshot the wallpaper, then if they move the mouse it still it on the screen
something i used to do at my old job was on wednesdays (being the 3rd day of the work week) we would take in third person all day. we would make sure to talk over the phone on loud speaker so that everyone could hear, and we would take about useless work stuff. we also would change eachother’s backgrounds to David Hasselhoff or Dolph Lundgren and then call them gay.
No. 22 DOES work. After you ss the desktop you also have to hide the start bar and lock the desktop icons.
*evil grin*
@Pookie,
Or switch their keyboard to Dvorak, French or Spanish settings (if english)
–doc0tis
The bastard who sits behind me is guilty of all of these. Yes, even singing show tunes.
I’ve seen people who do so many of these, without probably knowing this list exists, or without any intention behind it. Or so I thought! Maybe they weren’t bad employees after all, they were just going through these 101 ways! I can deal with that.
#100 Schedule meetings at 4:00pm
What’s wrong with doing this? and why they should be annoyed?
for number 22 you need to make a screenshot of their desktop, set it as their wallpaper, and then remove all of their icons from their desktop. otherwise, what’s really the point?
Tell them how you really feel and create a peer review via http://www.coworkers.com (anonymous if desired)
102. Just be me.
I’m such a loser.
http://loserville.typepad.com/loserville/
swap the x and y keys on their monitor.
alternately. take a screen capture, open photoshop, hide all the menus.
hilarity ensues.
Guilty on all counts….and loving it!!!
Great
I’ve seen people who do so many of these, without probably knowing this list exists, or without any intention behind it. Or so I thought! Maybe they weren’t bad employees after all, they were just going through these 101 ways! I can deal with that…
keep pranking the person next to you ;]
Put tippex around the tippex bottle and throw it to a colleague, when he catches it he gets it al around his hands
Empty the hole punch into envelopes or jacket pockets or umbrellas
Put carbon on the earpiece of a phone, they walk round with a blue ear all day
Put TWAT on a internal envelope and put it on somebodys in tray
When a can of coke is open on a desk pierce a small hole approx half inch form the top, when they take a drink it goes down their shirt, they think they have simply missed their mouth and wipe their shirt and yep take another drink, so messy so easy and so funny….
hah, great way to get fired
ssh into their Mac and make it say cuss words (just type say and what you want it to say when connected)
vnc the computer and beat on the keyboard or move the mouse to the cancel button before they click ok
turn the screen off (just push f 14 over and over(Mac with internal display only))
install a command line media player and play music they hate over ssh
ssh the computer and type killall (the app they are using) (Mac OS X/Unix/Linux only)
ssh the computer and type sudo reboot (you just need to be an administrator to do this) (Mac OS X/unix/linux)
turn the volume all the way up remotely and start music
install the command line program g4fancontrol in /bin and type sudo g4fancontrol –set 20 and make theh wonder why thier fan is on full blast (iBook G4 and PowerBook G4 aluminum only)
take a picture of their dock and hide the real one and put a picture of it where it goes (this should also work with the taskbar)