21 Questions to Determine If You Are a Stupid Computer User
After working in the Internet / IT industry for several years I have come across my share of people that should not be allowed to touch a computer. I could not find a test that would test the knowledge of an average person to determine if they were worthy or not to use a computer.
Here are twenty one questions to test your computer literacy. Answer carefully, you are being graded.
| Question | Yes | No |
| 1. Do you proclaim, out loud, your three year old knows more about computers than you do? | ____ | ____ |
| 2. Are you still looking for the “Any Key”? | ____ | ____ |
| 3. Do you really think you win something for being the 421,232th visitor? | ____ | ____ |
| 4. Is your only solution to call the family “computer geek”? | ____ | ____ |
| 5. Do you call the thing above the 8 a snowflake? | ____ | ____ |
| 6. Is Netscape 4.7 your default browser? | ____ | ____ |
| 7. Do you belive that the Firefox people are talking about is the 1982 movie about a really cool jet? | ____ | ____ |
| 8. Do the blinking ads compell you to click? | ____ | ____ |
| 9. Are your passwords on a sticky note on your monitor? | ____ | ____ |
| 10. Do you ignore those messages that tell your anti-virus subscription has expired? | ____ | ____ |
| 11. Is your home network’s name “linksys”? | ____ | ____ |
| 12. Do you not believe in a firewall? | ____ | ____ |
| 13. Have you paid for any Geek Squad services? | ____ | ____ |
| 14. Do you anxiously open every attachment in your email? | ____ | ____ |
| 15. When someone is explaining something technical, do you dismiss it as “computer talk”? | ____ | ____ |
| 16. Do you think you can get a free iPod for filling out your zip code? | ____ | ____ |
| 17. Do you believe the IT people have magical powers? | ____ | ____ |
| 18. Do you have a collection of AOL discs? | ____ | ____ |
| 19. Have you hit your monitor when your computer gave an error? | ____ | ____ |
| 20. Do you still the think the Internet is a fad? | ____ | ____ |
| 21. When someone asks what’s wrong with your computer, do you respond with, “It’s running slow”? | ____ | ____ |
Well, did you do? If you answered “Yes” to any of the questions, then you fail. You probably already give the IT folks migraines and it would be best if you stepped away from the computer. Oh yeah, they already make fun of you. You are referred to as a SEU - Stupid End User. When you call them with a problem they laugh and tell the other IT people that you have another Eye-Dee-Ten-Tee error (figure it out). The only thing you are good for is clicking on ads. There may be hope for you yet.
If you answered “No” to all the questions, then you had a good laugh and sympathized with IT people around the world. Thank you for not being one of them.
I’m sure there are some questions that need to be added. Let me know, and I will add them to the list.
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hey! the IT guys at my company really do have magic powers!
How about…
Has an IT person ever turned on/plugged in your computer and solved your problem?
It never does it when you’re looking is something you’ve said to someone before about your computer problem
You think spam is lunch meat
Do you call that box thingy the hard drive?
You missed the most obvious…
Do you, or have you ever used your computer’s “Cup Holder”?
Do you put your email address in every web form you come across?
When you get an email that promises that something strange will happen on your screen if you forward it to 500 people you believe it.
Here’s one
Do you pour water on your computer when it is hot to cool it down?
Some SEU did it
what about the blonde that uses white-out to fix her mistakes on the screen…
As an IT myself, I take issue with 19. There have been many times that I have hit the monitor due to the frustration over receiving an error.
Better to hit the monitor than the box thingy/hard drive.
I too have hit and even thrown equipment around the room when it doesn’t work. Sometimes they even behave after I have done so. And AOL Discs make great targets for my guns.
I’ve definitely hit my computer a couple of times (working on something completely normal one minute; the next: BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!!!)
Are you unsure of what a desktop, mouse, monitor, or keyboard is?
No joke; I told a girl once to save something to her desktop, and she asked me “What’s the desktop?”
IT: Please goto your C Drive
Customer: Whats a C Drive?
I read somewhere that the average computer user is dumb as a brick.
I worked part-time at Office Depot for a few months several years back and met several “Bricks”.
I like the people that will tap their mouse on the desk thinking it speeds things up.